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20120929
20121007
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Search Results 0 to 14 of about 15 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Oct 3, 2012 1:30am PDT
left here is romney when he was in miami two days before. on the right is when he was talking with you on univision. >> that is true but the numbers-- he spent a few days in florida so that changes everything. (laughter) >> stephen: he was apparently campaigning in a nuclear reactor. (laughter) which candidate-- you also do analysis, right? who do you think would be better for the immigrant community? >> there's no question that president obama has supported comprehensive immigration reform. that's giving 11 million immigrants a path to citizenship. >> stephen: he said he would do that. >> he broke a promise. >> stephen: >> and i asked him about it. >> stephen: this is payback time. >> i asked him why he broke the promise and he told me he didn't have the support of the republicans. but a promise is a promise, i told him. on the other hand, we have to say that governor romney he liked this idea of self-deportation. >> stephen: speaking spanish >> he said he thought it would be a model for the rest of the country when it comes to verifying the identification of employees. >> stephen: is
Comedy Central
Oct 4, 2012 11:30pm PDT
absolutely stunned tonight. >> there wasn't, i don't think, a single direct attack against mr. romney from president obama. no discussion of the 47%. >> at all. >> no discussion of immigration. no discussion of union rights. no discussion of women's rights, no discussion of bain. >> where was obama tonight? >> stephen: oh, break out the sour cream and bacon bits, nation, because mr. potato head is steamed! you know what, you know what? do you know why, i just got to get another taste of chris matthews here. but before we do that let me just-- i want to jack in right here okay, jack into him right there, so i can feast on his impotent rage. >> tonight wasn't an msnbc debate was it? it just wasn't. i don't know what was doing out there. i don't know how he let romney get away it with it. they are part of your 47%. you want to-- you don't have any chance, what are you talking about. where was obama tonight! he should watch -- -- with was romney doing, winning. obama should watch msnbc. >> stephen: i'll vote for anything that moves! (laughter) folks, i am not surprised that romney crushed it.
Comedy Central
Oct 5, 2012 7:00pm PDT
) folks, i am not surprised that romney crushed it. because this debate was right in his wheelhouse. soul-crushing. in fact, it was so tedious i think man in the front row fell asleep. (laughter) the first half hour, the first half hour, folks. (applause) the first half hour was an or geoof tax policy minutish-- orgy was tax policy minutia, and they moved on to the intricacies of medicare solvency it was off the hook, in that it would have been more interesting to listen to a dial tone. (laughter) but however wonky it got last night there was no miss tacking that there was a fire breathing leftie on that stage spewing heated socialist rhetoric. >> i will not reduce the taxes paid by high income americans. regulation is essential. you can't have a free market work if you don't have regulation. preexisting conditions are covered under my plan. and with regards to health care wa, we did in massachusetts is a model for the nation, state-by-state. >> stephen: yes, mitt romney's health-care plan is just like his positions, the details change state-by-state. (laughter) now-- folks, you kno
Comedy Central
Oct 3, 2012 7:00pm PDT
ones. (laughter) or-- or romney could get a two-point bump. either way it's news. (laughter) right now, folks, the obama people where are december it fromly trying to lower expectations. it's sad, just listen to obscene your advisor and anthropomorphized vanishing sound david plouffe. (laughter) jim? >> we've accepted that governor romney will have a good night. he's prepared more than any candidate in himselfry and shown himself to be a good debater through the years. we're sure he'll put on quite a show wednesday. >> yes, if there's one word america associates with mitt romney it's "show." (laughter) meanwhile, the romney people aren't playing these silly games. they're just being honest when they hail the president as a uniquely gifted speaker who is widely regarded as one of the most talented political communicators in modern history. (laughter) yes! he's a one-in-a-generation statesman whose rhetorical gift touched the human soul! when he speaks sparrows of the wood alight upon barack's shoulders as they did upon saint francis of assisi. he's no mere man he's a silver-tongued
Comedy Central
Oct 4, 2012 7:00pm PDT
for him to introduce himself. people don't know mitt romney. and we live in a very distracted age where everybody has ipads, ipods, blueberries, they have stuff in their ear. >> oh, i'm sorry. i'm sorry. all right. all right. .. >> all right. what is that? what is that? yeah, no. hold on. can you hold on? i have another call. hold on. hello? hello? yes? uh-huh. uh-huh. you have got what? i have got -- i have got a what in my ear? you have to speak up yavment hear you i have a banana in my ear. hmm, hmm, hmm. >> that got in there. >> i will call you back. but papa bear has got a point. these electronic gadgets that we all have now -- they give us -- they give us information 24/7, no matter where we are, and it has made it impossible for us to know who this guy is. i want to say let's -- anyway, whoever he is, he needs to introduce himself to america again. sure we met him briefly at the republican convention, during the primaries, during the 2008 primaries, and when he was governor of massachusetts, but he just won't stick. he is like that guy at the party you have seen a million t
Comedy Central
Oct 1, 2012 10:30am PDT
are already in and will always be in for a time of eternity-- vote mitt romney. but bring photo i.d. because they're really cracking down. i'm stephen colbert and i pray this message. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) -xa''4!aa''4!a(<4 ):áxxd2h>ig,xx 4h$h (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody, my guest tonight has written a new book which he describes as an existential detective story. he never tells you who did it because what's the point? please welcome jim holt! (cheers and applause) hey, what's going on there, mr. molt? nice to see you! is it mr. molt, dr. holt? >> mr. holt. >> stephen: okay, you're not one of those fancy doctors of thought guys. >> i'm a drop dropout. >> stephen: good. you're an essayist and a critic on philosophy, mathematics and science and you have a new book called "why does the world exist: an existential detective story." >> you say that sarcastically. (laughter) >> stephen: that's as sincere as i get. (laughter) first question: why does world exist exist? (laughter) what led you to write this book? >> good question. i was ra
Comedy Central
Oct 1, 2012 7:00pm PDT
favouring obama and then reached the scientific conclusion that they just didn't look right. so chambers set up his own polling site unskewed polls.com where he unskewed all the national polls by skewing them in favor of romney, and surprisingly found that mitt actually had a nearly 8 point lead. that doesn't even count the margin of error. and given how many errors romney's made, i think he should get all of it. now no surprise, folks, this feels accurate polling has caught the attention of some gop intellectuals like texas governor rick perry who tweeted, always niles to get unfiltered or in this case unskewed information. amen. if we had only had more accurate polling during the primaries, perry could have dropped out way sooner. (applause) and so-- (laughter) folks, chambers' work throws all polls into doubt now. even the internal ones i've taken of myself. i mean the results say i'm not that excited about mitt romney but as a conservative i feel like i should love him. maybe the sample size is too small or maybe i checked the wrong box and i'm actually latino, you know. tha
Search Results 0 to 14 of about 15 (some duplicates have been removed)